


the avengers hell yeah

by coffeebiscuits



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Avengers Family, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Texting, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Group Chat Fic, Multi, Natasha Romanov Lives, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter is everyone’s son, Team as Family, Texting, Tony Stark Lives, Trans Peter Parker, an endgame fix it of sorts, i think that’s it??, im not funny, okay it’s basically a crack fic, part of my au, steve never leaves bucky, thorbruce is so valid y’all are sleeping on it, yeah i hate steves ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeebiscuits/pseuds/coffeebiscuits
Summary: Peter added Scott, Clint, Natasha, and 6 others to a new chat.Peter named the chat “the avengers hell yeah”Clint: what.Steve: What is this?Peter: it’s a group chat. have y’all never been in a group chat beforeBucky: no. Because we’re adults who can actually get up and speak to each other. Physically.Peter: ouchScott: Speak for yourself. Cassie fell asleep on me and I cant moveNatasha: this beats having to watch clint play wii sports resortClint: i will have you know i am EXCELLENT at this game—this is an endgame fix it of sorts and part of an au of mine where no one dies in endgame, steve never leaves bucky and they become Boyfriends, and they all move in together in ace tower, which tony built. shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 98
Kudos: 451





	1. peter uses emoticons like a LOSER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa okay so!! this is the first chapter. i have written out a couple more but i will post those later. 
> 
> i have actually a LOT more info on this au, so if you’re curious, just ask by commenting and i’ll respond and give you a link to the full document. i just want them all to be HAPPY okay?? 
> 
> also they are all so ooc in this fic i’m so sorry i just kinda let myself go loose and have a bunch of fun making this so i hope you have fun reading this?? 
> 
> also p.s. i literally completely forgot that cassie wasn’t snapped so she is still a little girl in this fic AHIFSJJD lets just pretend that she’s not like. a whole ass teenager 
> 
> but yea! this chap is very short but have fun! peter is a gen z kid and i love him

3:02 AM

**Peter** added **Scott, Clint, Natasha,** and **6 others** to a new chat.

**Peter** named the chat “ **the avengers hell yeah** ”

**Clint:** what. 

**Steve:** What is this?

**Peter:** it’s a group chat. have y’all never been in a group chat before

**Bucky:** no. Because we’re adults who can actually get up and speak to each other. Physically.

**Peter:** ouch 

**Scott:** Speak for yourself. Cassie fell asleep on me and I cant move

**Natasha:** this beats having to watch clint play wii sports resort

**Clint:** i will have you know i am EXCELLENT at this game 

**Tony:** Peter it’s 3 AM what are you doing staying up so late on a school night 

**Natasha:** aw dad tony strikes again 

**Tony:** i’ve heard Peter call you mom many times 

**Natasha:** touché. 

**Stephen:** Can I ask why we are in this group chat

**Peter:** for fun! :D also i’m procrastinating on my spanish homework.

**Tony:** kid this is the reason I have gray hair 

**Bucky:** You have gray hair because you’re old stfu

**Clint:** OH DAMN 

**Natasha:** bucky coming in hot 

**Tony:** I hate you all. 

**Stephen:** If you hate us then why’d you ask us to move in with you

**Tony:** … 

**Tony:** shut up Stephen 

**Peter:** we love u too mr stark :)

**Bucky:** eh 

**Natasha:** debatable 

**Clint:** jury’s still out 

**Tony:** really feeling the love guys

**Clint:** where is everyone else, by the way

**Bucky:** They’re asleep because they actually go to bed at a normal hour

**Peter:** not us. we die like men

**Scott:** cassie is still asleep on me I can’t moiwundajkcl

**Peter:** oh my god he's dead

**Scott:** hi peter!!!!!

**Peter:** uh. hi

**Scott:** AHFWKHKWYUK

**Clint:** i am so scared. 

**Scott:** I am so sorry she woke up and wanted to say hi to you

**Peter:** oh! hi cassie :D

**Bucky:** Why do all the kids love Peter so much 

**Natasha:** bc you’re like a hundred years old but he’s cool

**Bucky:** I live right next to you do you really want to start something

**Natasha:** i’ve taken you down before i can do it again. come on barnes i’ll rip your skin vertically in half and wear you like a jacket

**Clint:** okay this is escalating quickly

**Tony:** I have such a headache from this

**Peter:** Then Perish

**Tony:** what did you just say to me

**Peter:** IT WAS A MEME REFERENCE IM SORRY

**Natasha:** tony’s about to kill his own son

**Stephen:** Why are you all like this.

**Bucky:** I hate you all.

**Natasha:** no you don’t

**Clint:** no you don’t

**Peter:** no you don’t

**Tony:** No you don’t

**Bucky:** … 

**Bucky:** No, I don’t

**Peter:** :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! the next chapter will either go up tomorrow or like right after this. i have 0 self control so probably the latter.


	2. sam eats everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which everyone is peter’s parent, people go crazy for bruce’s food, and stephen can make a mean lasagna

11:20 AM

**Peter:** steve 

**Steve:** Yeah, Pete?

**Peter:** i am babysitting morgan and she is demanding her uncle steve 

**Steve:** I’ll be right there. 

**Scott:** Cass is reading over my shoulder and she wants in on this 

**Peter:** oh hell yeah i love cassie 

**Natasha:** seeing peter with cassie & morgan warms my cold dead heart

**Bucky:** cold dead heart? You cried over Tangled yesterday

**Natasha:** shut up bucky 

**Sam:** yeah shut up bucky 

**Bucky:** wtf did I do to you

**Sam:** exist

**Tony:** Ah I love to see people ganging up on Bucky for no reason

**Steve:** If it makes you feel any better, I love you, Buck 

**Bucky:** <3

**Natasha:** i just gagged

**Peter:** aw thats cute i love my dads

**Clint:** peter literally everyone here is like your parent

**Peter:** yeah but i love all of you

**Scott:** It’s too early to be crying

**Bruce:** Ijrf Ybwue Wfuik i maAHDQ Skwhiwo

**Stephen:** What just happened?

**Bruce:** kEyboard s 2 Sjmall

**Tony:** I think the keyboard is too small for him

**Clint:** i'm in the kitchen with him he says that he made sandwiches if anyone wants some

**Sam:** I am running there as fast as I can

**Steve:** He isn’t kidding I can hear his very loud footsteps 

**Sam:** can’t hear you because I already have a sandwich in my mouth

**Scott:** I AM ALSO COMING 

**Peter:** whenever bruce cooks people go insane

**Bucky:** because his food is amazing

**Bruce:** tHankz ::)

**Tony:** okay someone needs to get him an iPad. 

**Tony:** Hey why isn’t Rhodey in here? 

**Peter:** i asked him if he wanted 2 join. he took one look and said “oh hell no” 

**Tony:** Sounds about right. 

**Bucky:** I swear to god 

**Bucky:** I am going to murder Sam

**Sam:** You’re too slow, man 

**Bucky:** he got all the sandwiches. He’s been there for 2 minutes 

**Scott:** I can confirm I watched him eat them and it was terrifying 

**Peter:** bruce needs to make like 3 times as many because they’re always gone when i get there :( 

**Bucky:** It’s every man for himself out here 

**Stephen:** I can make some lasagna 

**Tony:** Oh my god. 

**Stephen:** ?? 

**Tony:** you make lasagna?? 

**Peter:** yes and it slaps 

**Steve:** slaps? 

**Natasha:** don’t ask 

**Stephen:** I do make lasagna. Is there a problem 

**Tony:** No it’s just. Wow you are a lot less intimidating when I realize that you make lasFJSJFJKD 

**Clint:** well. rip tony 

**Steve:** I believe Stephen appeared in the lab and took him down. I could hear the screams. 

**Clint:** damn 

**Natasha:** all this drama just for lunch 

**Peter:** i’m just gonna make some instant mac n cheese 

**Bucky:** Make some for me as well. Apparently trying to wrestle the sandwiches out of Sam’s mouth doesn’t work. 

**Clint:** what the hell even happened in the kitchen 

**Sam:** Things that I’ll never forget. I’ve been scarred for life 

**Bucky:** You brought this upon yourself 

**Sam:** :’(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i really have no self control. this will probably be the last chapter i post today hope y’all are liking it so far!!


	3. bucky is a cat person. 100%

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they get a cat, basically.

8:45 AM

**Peter:** hey. mr stark. you know how i’m like. ur favorite 

**Tony:** Okay what do you want 

**Peter:** haha whaaaat?? me?? wanting something?? never. how dare you imply. how dare you even suggest such a thing. 

**Tony:** Spit it out 

**Peter:** can i have a cat 

**Tony:** A cat. 

**Peter:** yeah! a cat 

**Bucky:** oh my god a cat 

**Natasha:** if one more person says “a cat” i will start shooting 

**Peter:** *danny devito voice* so anyways i started blasting

**Natasha:** i’m just going to pretend you never said that

**Steve:** Let the kid have a pet, Tony. Also I like cats. Let’s please get a cat. 

**Tony:** why on Earth would I give Peter a cat? 

**Peter:** because they’re cute! and aunt may is allergic to dogs. it’d be trained and a fun companion and i’m sure cassie and morgan would love it 

**Tony:** No. 

**Peter:** i’ll stop referencing so many movies 

**Tony:** It’s a deal. 

**Clint:** HELL YES WE ARE GETTING A CAT

**Stephen:** I prefer dogs 

**Clint:** NO ONE ASKED STEPHEN 

**Sam:** Stephen is currently frowning at his phone 

**Stephen:** :( 

**Tony:** he used an emoticon. I have to take a screenshot 

**Stephen has deleted the message “** :( **”**

**Tony:** DAMN IT 

**Tony:** Anyway kid where the hell are we going to get a cat 

**Peter:** oh

**Peter:** uh 

**Peter:** i already got one 

**Steve:** I can almost hear Tony’s sigh. 

**Tony:** You 

**Tony:** Already have one 

**Peter:** yeah!! she’s a stray 

**Peter:** her name is nick fury because she only has one eye 

**Peter:** fury for short 

**Bucky:** I… truly have no words 

**Natasha:** i am simultaneously deeply proud and concerned 

**Clint:** i am on my way to ur apartment pete i want to SEE HER 

**Peter:** :D!!

**Tony:** Nick Fury himself just texted me and said “don’t let Parker name his cat after me” 

**Clint:** he Knows

**Bucky:** That’s not creepy at all 

**Clint:** abort mission abort mission 

**Peter:** it’s the perfect name i’m not changing it she’s an angel 

**Peter:** oh no brb fury’s shredding my sheets 

**Natasha:** yeah. an angel 

**Clint:** no he’s right she’s adorable 

**Clint:** even though she is eating my arm as we speak 

**Clint:** does anyone have a band-aid?? or ten?? 

**Steve:** Earth’s mightiest heroes, everyone. 

**Bucky:** I know right they’re so stupid 

**Peter:** bucky you’re literally in the room with us i can see you petting fury 

**Bucky:** Cats are my weakness okay? Shut up Parker

**Steve:** Does he look cute right now? 

**Peter:** he is kissing her on her head and telling her he loves her

**Steve:** God I love my boyfriend 

**Tony:** Really? I haven’t heard 

**Scott:** Shh love is beautiful 

**Sam:** where the hell did he come from? 

**Scott:** Oh I’m in Peter’s apartment right now. I’ve been here for half an hour just petting her 

**Tony:** Jesus Christ how many people are in Peter’s apartment 

**Peter:** … five 

**Tony:** Well. It’s about to be one more I want to see her 

**Stephen:** She is purring so hard. I now love cats. 

**Tony:** You too?? 

**Peter:** this is the best day of my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really hoping y’all are liking this story so far!! if u have any suggestions for some of their shenanigans just comment down below, i’d be happy to read em. 
> 
> also i am (very) slowly but surely writing a new stucky fic so uhhh keep an eye out for that?? if you want??


	4. a fall wedding > spring wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scott and peter plan a wedding. the thorbruce is strong with this one.

2:11 PM

**Bruce:** I made cupcakes and they are in the kitchen. They are in a Tupperware container. Do not eat any of them. 

**Sam:** … 

**Bucky:** You already ate one didn’t you

**Sam:** I love Bruce’s cooking okay

**Sam:** And I ate two thank you very much 

**Natasha:** how does this help your defense 

**Tony:** As much as I love hearing the Cap Quartet argue 

**Steve:** Cap Quartet?

**Natasha:** just go with it

**Tony:** Why did you make cupcakes, Bruce

**Bruce:** Uh

**Stephen:** Oh

**Scott:** I see what’s happening here

**Peter:** ;)

**Bucky:** Wtf can someone please explain

**Scott:** It must be springtime because love is in the air 

**Stephen:** We are in the middle of January 

**Peter:** bruce made cupcakes because his boyfriend is coming to visit 

**Bruce:** Thor is not my boyfriend 

**Tony:** But you wish he was

**Bruce:** I am not having this conversation 

**Clint:** nooo bruce it’s cute!!

**Peter:** are u gonna give him the cupcakes,, omg,, scott we need to plan a wedding 

**Scott:** Come to the living room I already have the document set up

**Bruce:** We are NOT getting married 

**Tony:** Hey can I be your best man?

**Bruce:** Absolutely not. Steve would be my best man 

**Tony:** That boring old geezer? He is the human embodiment of a wet rag

**Steve:** Tony I am sitting right next to you.

**Tony:** And I am giving you a hug right now. See? We’re best friends. Don’t make Steve your best man Bruce or you will regret it forever

**Bruce:** WE’RE NOT GETTING MARRIED 

**Scott:** That’s not what this wedding planner says 

**Peter:** yea you guys are getting married on uh october 16th

**Bucky:** A fall wedding? 

**Clint:** bad idea. spring is better

**Scott:** No no think about how romantic it’ll be, an arch surrounded by golden leaves

**Natasha:** you know what? he’s got a point

**Sam:** Wait who’s getting married?

**Bruce:** Absolutely NO ONE

**Tony:** Sure. See you guys on October 16th

**Stephen:** We live together

**Tony:** And?

**Steve:** Bruce if it makes you feel any better I’d be more than honored to be your best man. 

**Natasha:** i think he’s crying 

**Bruce:** I am.

**Clint:** we really need to be on a reality tv show

**Peter:** bruce did you get the ring. thor is gonna be here in an hour

**Natasha:** i’ll make the balloon arch

**Tony:** Busting out the champagne as we speak 

**Bruce:** I am turning my phone off GOODBYE

**Scott:** WAIT NO you have to choose the napkin color!!

**Peter:** i say we go with the cream over the beige

**Steve:** Does napkin color matter?

**Scott:** YES

**Peter:** YES

**Natasha:** yeah. go with the cream

**Peter:** that’s what i sAID

**Scott:** :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thorbruce is such an underrated and valid ship alright come at me smh   
> it’s only 11 pm but i’m so tired?? what is happening to me?? time is fake


	5. bruce’s pasta brings all the boys to the yard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> never fear because thor is here!

5:55 PM 

**Peter:** y’all know i love thor but. i forgot how crushing his hugs are 

**Scott:** I physically can’t stand up straight send help 

**Natasha:** peter come to the kitchen you have to see this 

**Natasha:** thor found fury and they’re now best friends 

**Bucky:** She’s in his arms right now 

**Clint:** she looks so small in his arms and she’s purring so hard. this is so cute 

**Peter:** I AM OMW 

**Bucky:** Thor and Bruce are also making heart eyes at each other it makes me sick 

**Bucky:** Love is disgusting

**Steve:** Bucky you’re the love of my life. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Everytime I see your face, my heart pounds. You’re like air for me and if I go even a day without you I won’t be able to live. 

**Clint:** he’s crying 

**Steve:** Knew it. 

**Tony:** That’s too sentimental, Cap. It’s gross. Pepper and I don’t need that to show our love for each other 

**Natasha:** yesterday you told her she was a boss ass bitch and she just sighed and said “i love you too i guess” 

**Tony:** See? What’d I tell you 

**Peter:** when i came into the kitchen thor looked at me with the biggest smile on his face and said “your small cat is vibrating” 

**Peter:** i love him ???

**Clint:** yo ask him if he has a phone 

**Tony:** Oh, great idea. Add Pointbreak to the group chat.

**Steve:** I’m pretty sure that was sarcasm but I actually do think it’s a good idea. 

**Peter:** he says yes 

**Peter** added  **Thor** to “ **the avengers hell yeah** ”

**Thor:** Good afternoon! 

**Tony:** I just rolled my eyes so hard

**Peter:** hi thor!! :D

**Thor:** Hello, spiderling! Your cat is very cute. 

**Peter:** aDHQKEygewkajaeiUDH

**Thor:** I am concerned. 

**Bucky:** He’s just freaking out because he’s a fanboy

**Peter:** SHUT UP BUCKY 

**Thor:** Fanboy… I am not familiar with this word! And I do not think we have met, Bucky, but you are Steve’s lover, are you not?

**Steve:** Oh my god. 

**Bucky:** Uh

**Bucky:** Yeah, he’s my boyfriend 

**Thor:** That is wonderful! It has been so long since I have found love.

**Clint:** that just got so sad so fast

**Sam:** I thought you were with Jane?

**Natasha:** sam no

**Tony:** Jesus Sam

**Sam:** Oh no what did I say

**Thor:** It is alright! She, ah, how do you Midgardians say it? Dumped me. 

**Sam:** Oh damn 

**Bucky:** Can’t believe you screwed up another thing

**Sam:** Bucky I will come fight you. 

**Peter:** that’s rough, thor :( but uh. that means you are open for a new relationship!! 

**Scott:** Yeah, do you have eyes on anyone else? 

**Peter:** cough cough

**Natasha:** peter and scott are both the absolute worst at being subtle

**Scott:** Nudge nudge

**Thor:** I am very confused, but I am in fact… romantically interested in a particular person. 

**Scott:** Hmm…

**Peter:** hm…

**Scott:** Pete, come to my room ASAP 

**Peter:** you got it

**Stephen:** This is a trainwreck to watch. 

**Tony:** You’re a trainwreck to watch. 

**Stephen:** That’s all you got? 

**Tony:** Yeah, it was not my best. 

**Peter:** where is everyone omg 

**Stephen:** I’m in the living room… watching some weird show. 

**Natasha:** he’s watching love is blind and he’s obsessed with it don’t let him fool you. 

**Stephen:** Natasha please do not expose me

**Clint:** i’m still in the kitchen and i’m eating bruce’s cupcakes. they are so good 

**Thor:** Yes, Clint is right! These are delicious, Bruce. You are truly a talented cook. 

**Bruce:** Oh that’s very kind Thor :) 

**Thor:** You’re welcome :) 

**Peter:** i’m crying 

**Scott:** My heart 

**Steve:** Please ignore them. Yes, Bruce is like the unofficial chef in the family. 

**Bucky:** Speaking of chefs, what are we having for dinner

**Sam:** I see dinner and I’m here 

**Bucky:** Jfc Sam you are way too obsessed with Bruce’s food 

**Sam:** It is the only thing I live for

**Steve:** What about us? 

**Sam:** What about you? 

**Peter:** oh damn!! 

**Tony:** Sam I love you. 

**Stephen:** Tony loves anyone who insults Steve 

**Bucky:** Yeah Steve is the worst 

**Steve:** HEY 

**Tony:** Bucky I love you 

**Bucky:** FINALLY 

**Steve:** :( 

**Bucky:** It’s okay 

**Bucky:** I’ll make it up to you later ;) 

**Peter:** EW 

**Clint:** oh my god?? 

**Peter:** u guys are my dads you can’t say that 

**Bruce:** I feel like we got very off track here. We’re having pasta 

**Sam:** God I love pasta 

**Peter:** i am a whore for bruce’s pasta 

**Bucky:** You both need to calm down

**Peter:** stfu bucky,, you’re just as thirsty for his pasta as we are

**Bucky:** Yeah. You’re right. I am a slut for his pasta. 

**Bruce:** I am very uncomfortable. 

**Natasha:** let’s change the subject!! thor how long are you staying 

**Thor:** Oh! Not long at all, unfortunately. Just this night and I will be leaving in the morning! 

**Peter:** aw :( i wish you would stay longer

**Thor:** I wish as well, but I cannot leave Asgard in the hands of Loki for too long. He makes me nervous. 

**Tony:** Ah… and how is our favorite snake? 

**Thor:** I know you mean that metaphorically, but he has turned into a snake many times. 

**Clint:** siblings! fun 

**Thor:** I have brought alcohol though!! 

**Clint:** BOOZE! fun 

**Peter:** oh?? 

**Tony:** Peter you’re underage. 

**Peter:** :( 

**Steve:** Thor that’s sweet, but Bucky and I can’t get drunk, with the serum and all. 

**Thor:** Oh that is not a problem! This is Asgardian alcohol, not for puny mortals. You will most definitely be affected. 

**Bucky:** Steve we are going to get HAMMERED

**Peter:** if this night goes well i will soon be surrounded by drunk avengers :D 

**Steve:** I want to say that this is highly irresponsible, a bad idea, and will most likely end in disaster. 

**Steve:** But I haven’t been able to get drunk in years so I don’t care. 

**Sam:** Even Cap is in on this 

**Scott:** I only just saw all of this and. I am ready. 

**Peter:** this is the best night ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pasta is so good if you don’t like pasta you don’t have rights 
> 
> anyways i hope you liked this chapter?? these just keep getting progressively ooc but it’s ok we are just here to have fun u know


	6. alcohol and the avengers don’t mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> confessions are dealt, nat is Fearless, and drunk tony is a gen z kid

2:03 AM 

**Peter:** scott and i just took a lego house outside, grew it, and we are now IN IT. this is my childhood dream come true omg omg 

**Tony:** I thought your childhood dream was meeting me! 

**Peter:** mr stark. dad. i love u and all but this is a lego. life sized. house. c’mon 

**Tony:** oh man I’ve let you down,,,, Pete I love youshdujdksd 

**Peter:** i 

**Clint:** drunk tony is the bEst

**Natasha:** i just chugged a whole bottle of soy sauce i’m going to go throw up 

**Steve:** Why on earth did you do that?? 

**Natasha:** bucky dared me to!! 

**Bucky:** I did! Worth it 

**Sam:** No it isn’t. I’m holding her hair up while she pukes 

**Steve:** I just looked down and my nails are painted orange? Did I do that? 

**Bucky:** Steve. Steve 

**Steve:** ...yes? 

**Bucky:** Steve. 

**Steve:** Um. 

**Bucky:** You have such pretty eyes. I love you sOooooooOOOOO much. Let’s get married 

**Steve:** What 

**Bucky:** Where are you I am coming to kiss you RIGHT NOW 

**Peter:** SCOTT 

**Scott:** YEAH YES we gotta plann ANOTHER wedding peter!!! This one has to be in the spring 

**Thor:** Another wedding? What was the first wedding? 

**Tony:** um 

**Tony:** Someone help me out pls

**Peter:** why does drunk mr stark text like a gen z kid

**Stephen:** I like drunk Tony a lot more than sober Tony

**Tony:** Shut up Stephen!! I love my wife 

**Stephen:** Okay? 

**Bruce:** who wants some cinnamon rolls? I’ve been cooking for the last 2 hours 

**Sam:** BYE NAT IM GOING TO GET CINNAMON ROLLS 

**Natasha:** HEY IM NOT DONE VOMITING I HAVE VERY LONG HAIR 

**Bucky:** I WILL BEAT YOU THIS TIME SAM 

**Steve:** He just stopped kissing me, looked at his phone, and shoved me down?? 

**Bucky:** SORRY ILY BUT THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT 

**Peter:** love is beautiful

**Scott:** Thor!! Thor Thor Thorrrrr who are you romantically interested in 

**Thor:** I probably should not say 

**Scott:** Nooo please we are all so curious 

**Peter:** yeahhhh we won’t make fun of you!! and we all basically already know anyway 

**Bruce:** No. No we don’t. We don’t know for sure. Because the person we think Thor likes is completely undeserving of his romantic affections. 

**Tony:** wowww how is Bruce still able to tyype in complete sentences 

**Bruce:** Because I didn’t drink anything

**Clint:** whaaaaat?? that’s not allowed 

**Peter:** anywaY thor!! tell us please mr thor 

**Thor:** Well. Alright. The alcohol is affecting me quite a bit and I do not have the sense to stop myself. 

**Scott:** Three cheers for drunken mistakes :D

**Thor:** It is Bruce. 

**Clint:** HAHDJDSJDNKEF

**Peter:** OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD

**Tony:** I knew it!! 

**Bucky:** We ALL KNEW IT

**Bruce:** w

**Bruce:** What? 

**Bruce:** This is a joke right? This is some prank? Because this is not funny guys. At all. 

**Peter:** no omg we’re not that mean?? SCOTT SCOTT WHERES THE WEDDING BINDER 

**Scott:** ITS HERE ITS HERE. OCTOBER 16TH EVERYONE PLEASE BE THERE. 

**Thor:** It is not a joke. I am truly enamored of you. 

**Bruce:** But I’m so. Me. 

**Tony:** This is so sad to watch 

**Bruce:** And you’re so?? You?? 

**Thor:** I can only hope you feel the same. 

**Bruce:** oh my God of course I do?? 

**Peter:** i am crying this is so cute 

**Scott:** We need to have a double wedding,,, Steve and Bucky how do you feel about getting married on October 16th 

**Bucky:** Hell yeah 

**Steve:** Absolutely not 

**Bucky:** I mean…. absolutely not

**Steve:** Sigh 

**Clint:** did you just. type out sigh 

**Tony:** You are so old 

**Peter:** steve wtf

**Clint:** how is nat so good at just dance 

**Natasha:** i am full of energy and you are old and creaky 

**Clint:** you just threw up twice 

**Sam:** Natasha knows no fear 

**Peter:** scott just saw fury and started crying

**Scott:** She’s just so cute,,,, and she has only one eye?? She’s so soft 

**Tony:** Why are the walls spinning?

**Steve:** We’re all going to regret this in the morning, aren’t we

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chapter did not live up to the hype i gave it but. it’s alright
> 
> if u have any suggestions for the morning after pls drop me down... i am writing the next chap but i don’t really like it so if you have some ideas for shenanigans hmu


	7. captain america protector of gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is gay, a proposal is planned, and natasha needs help.

9:33 AM

**Bucky:** I regret nothing.

**Natasha:** speak for yourself. i have one of clint’s arrows in my arm for some reason?

**Bucky:** Oh my god Nat wtf

**Natasha:** its fine, i know how to do stitches. does anyone have floss

**Stephen:** I do. But please be quiet, Tony is passed out in my room. 

**Natasha:** why??

**Stephen:** He snuck in two hours ago, claimed he was trying to kill me, tried to shave off my beard, and promptly collapsed on the floor.

**Peter:** stephen why are u using words like “promptly”

**Bucky:** Yeah we’re all hungover why are you using coherent speech

**Stephen:** I am in so much pain don’t ask me questions

**Peter:** are we the only ones online? where is everyone else

**Natasha:** they’re all passed out of course. not me, i’m practicing knife throwing

**Stephen:** How??

**Natasha:** we die like men

**Bucky:** Steve is sleeping next to me and he is so cute

**Peter:** no one: 

bucky: god i love my boyfriend

**Bucky:** I do!

**Peter:** just marry him already jfc

**Bucky:** I’m trying I’m tRYING

**Peter:** wait what

**Peter:** rlly?

**Bucky:** I mean

**Bucky:** Yeah

**Natasha:** stop talking it hurts to smile i have such a migraine

**Bucky:** He’s the one for me. There isn’t gonna be anyone else. Also, I don’t know, it’d be kind of cool to have us officially be each other’s. And, well, back in the 40’s, you’d get beaten by just talking about gay marriage. So now that it’s legal… I don’t know. I want to.

**Peter:** why do i hear loud sobbing?

**Stephen:** It’s me. I’m secretly a hopeless romantic. 

**Natasha:** who would’ve thought

**Peter:** bucky i am so excited pls i

**Peter:** do you know when ur gonna propose??? omg omg

**Bucky:** I’m thinking in a week. Just so I can get everything together.

**Natasha:** this is amazing

**Natasha:** u should probably delete these texts, though, in case he sees them

**Peter:** can i please please tell scott tho he will FREAK out

**Bucky:** Whatever, just don’t tell Steve 

**Bucky:** You guys can plan the wedding if you want ;)

**Peter:** I AM LITERALLY CRYING RN 

**Natasha:** i just accidentally hit stephen with a knife i gtg 

**Stephen:** Does anyone have a Band-Aid? 

2:12 PM 

**Tony:** Good morning everyone! 

**Steve:** It’s 2 PM. 

**Tony:** Did I stutter? 

**Sam:** I am so hungover 

**Steve:** Hi so hungover, I’m Steve. 

**Peter:** oh my god?? 

**Clint:** did steve just make a dad joke? 

**Steve:** Bucky’s right next to me, he told me to. 

**Tony:** The peak of comedy 

**Natasha:** wheres bruce? 

**Clint:** probably kissing his boyfriend lol

**Peter:** that’s so gay 

**Bucky:** Gay people are crazy haha 

**Natasha:** imagine being gay lmao 

**Stephen:** What is happening?? 

**Clint:** something us straight people can’t understand 

**Stephen:** Oh. Speak for yourself then. 

**Clint:** what 

**Clint:** am i the only straight person here?? 

**Sam:** Pretty much 

**Clint:** damn i feel so left out 

**Peter:** i love how most of the avengers are raging homos in some way shape or form

**Tony:** Really shuts up the public 

**Natasha:** hey steve remember when that one rlly oblivious guy at a press conference started being homophobic 

**Peter:** oh yeah!! he was like “man there are so many gays in this generation, am i right? bet it was better in the 40’s when there weren’t all these alphabet people” 

**Natasha:** and then steve looked at him dead in the eye, said “i have a boyfriend and we’re very much in love” and then left 

**Peter:** i cried a bit 

**Bucky:** So did I, I was so proud 

**Tony:** Captain America making the world a better place, absolutely destroying one homophobe at a time 

**Steve:** I probably could’ve reacted better. But he was extremely rude, so he deserved it. 

**Sam:** Wait where's Scott?

**Peter:** i think he’s still sleeping??

**Bucky:** I have no idea how you guys can sleep so much 

**Bucky:** When I was in Wakanda, I got up at sunrise to meditate and take care of the goats 

**Tony:** To what now? 

**Bucky:** One word, Stark, and I will shave off your beard 

**Peter:** damn everyone’s rlly out to get mr stark’s beard huh 

**Sam:** Bucky taking care of goats …

**Bucky:** I will rip off your wings I swear

**Sam:** You already did 

**Bucky:** what

**Natasha:** uhhhh never mind that 

**Clint:** how were the goats, bucky 

**Bucky:** They were very nice. I like goats 

**Peter:** can i please have a goat 

**Tony:** You already have Fury 

**Peter:** yeah but she just scratched up my arm so we’re not on the best terms right now 

**Natasha:** speaking of, i think i need to go to the hospital

**Steve:** Oh my God?

**Natasha:** clint’s arrow wound got infected 

**Natasha:** i can’t feel my arm 

**Clint:** I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS?? 

**Tony:** I am calling 911 right now

**Peter:** jesus christ

3:00 PM

**Scott:** Good morning! What did I miss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i split this chapter up in a couple of timestamps!! 
> 
> hope y’all enjoyed :) it is canon that bucky meditates, he is just chillin in the beginning of the falcon & winter soldier comic and i love it so much. 
> 
> also i love stucky w my whole heart let them be happy pleASE 
> 
> haha me?? projecting my sexuality on my comfort characters in a desperate attempt to have lgbt+ rep??? lol never 
> 
> if ur wondering what my headcanons for the characters’ sexuality are, then just ask i will be so happy to talk about it lmao


	8. birthday boye bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is in trouble, sam & bucky get into another scuffle, and bucky hates growing old

8:47 PM

**Tony:** Peter’s grounded. 

**Peter:** i am NOT,,, do not slander my name mr stark

**Steve:** Peter, I am very disappointed in you. 

**Peter:** you don’t even know what i DID

**Steve:** Doesn’t matter. 

**Natasha:** pete what did you do this time??

**Sam:** Yeah Peter what the hell? 

**Peter:** WHY ARE YALL SO MEAN TO ME :(( 

**Tony:** He forgot to take his binder off, slept in it, and now he says it hurts to breathe. 

**Peter:** only a liTTLE 

**Bucky:** Peter that is NOT okay 

**Stephen:** We need to punish him for his crimes 

**Peter:** this has happened before!! it’s nothing new?? i

**Tony:** Even worse! What if you seriously injure yourself? 

**Scott:** I know how to punish him. 

**Scott:** It’s taco tuesday tonight

**Peter:** wait what no,,, scott pls this is too much 

**Bruce:** You get two tacos less tonight, Peter 

**Peter:** WHAT?? eight tacos is not enougH 

**Tony:** You eat ten tacos on average? 

**Peter:** on my bad days 

**Bucky:** No, no. That’s atrocious. Right Steve?

**Steve:** Yeah, he needs at least thirteen. He’s a growing boy. 

**Tony:** Sometimes I forget that I live with super people who eat an absurd amount

**Tony:** Except for Clint, he’s just greedy

**Clint:** HEY 

**Stephen:** The most I can eat is 5. What is wrong with you guys 

**Sam:** For normal tacos, it’s about 5 for me too

**Sam:** But for Bruce’s cooking… 

**Bucky:** Oh my God. 

**Sam:** It’s twice as much. 

**Bucky:** Basically your only personality trait is loving Bruce’s cooking 

**Sam:** I have had ENOUGH of your shit Bucky, let’s battle it out right here, right now. 

**Bucky:** I’ll dance on your grave when I kill you. 

**Peter:** what is happening?? 

**Natasha:** we’re in the living room and clint is playing mario kart, but bucky and sam are wrestling on the floor and screaming to each other 

**Scott:** I’m two floors above but I can hear them perfectly 

**Clint:** THEY MADE ME FALL OFF OF RAINBOW ROAD 

**Clint:** i NEVER fall off of rainbow road 

**Tony:** Just yesterday I kicked your ass, what are you talking about 

**Clint:** i like to tell myself i’m better than i am out of fear of the crushing weight of insecurity

**Bruce:** On that happy note, tacos are ready 

**Sam:** OH SHIT BYE BUCKY 

**Bucky:** WE ARE NOT DONE FIGHTING YET 

**Bucky:** SAM GEBYOUR ASS BACK HERE

**Stephen:** Now they’ve burst into the kitchen and they’re falling over themselves 

**Stephen:** Bucky just grabbed Sam’s foot and yanked him backwards 

**Stephen:** Sam just punched him in the face?

**Natasha:** why do i live in a tower full of boys 

**Clint:** because we’re never boring? 

**Stephen:** Peter just swung himself in, webbed a tray of tacos, and is swinging away with them 

**Stephen:** Bucky is yelling curses at him 

**Stephen:** OH NO SAM JUST MADE EYE CONTACT WITHT ME I GOTTAG O

**Tony:** You know what? I’m not too hungry tonight. 

**Peter:** i’ll save some tacos for u mr stark! :D

**Tony:** ...Thanks, kid

**Natasha:** peter is so pure 

**Clint:** a baby 

**Peter:** I AM NOT A BABY SHUT UP 

**Bucky:** The baby speaks 

**Peter:** STOP MAKING FUN OF ME 

**Bucky:** Aw, does the baby need a juice box? 

**Scott:** I’ll take a juice box I have no shame 

**Peter:** there are some juice boxes in my fridge 

**Clint:** what kind 

**Peter:** apple

**Clint:** ew wtf?? 

**Bucky:** I’ll have some juice 

**Peter:** no you’re a bully 

**Steve:** It’s his birthday, give him some juice 

**Bucky:** STEVE WE HAD A DEAL

**Tony:** It is definitely not his birthday

**Bucky:** It is. 

**Natasha:** and you didn’t tell us??

**Clint:** we could’ve been eating cake this whole time?

**Sam:** We could’ve been eating BRUCE’S cake this whole time?? You know I go crazy for that shit, Bucky. What the hell

**Steve:** Personally I wanted to tell you guys but Bucky didn’t let me

**Bucky:** Yeah and now he’s sleeping on the floor tonight >:(

**Peter:** did he just use emoticons? 

**Tony:** We have to celebrate your birthday, Bucky, you’re an old man 

**Sam:** Yeah… with cake, right? There’ll be cake?

**Sam:** Bruce?

**Bruce:** Yeah sure whatever 

**Sam:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUCKY 

**Bucky:** This is exactly what I was dreading 

**Peter:** three cheers for late night birthday celebrations!!

**Clint:** this is why we never sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trans peter >>>
> 
> hey sorry that i haven’t updated in a bit! i’ve been having some mental health issues and my writing was kinda affected by that. it’s not the best chapter, but it’s something. next one, they’ll celebrate bucky’s birthday! comment if u have some ideas! 
> 
> also, i put up a new fic called “sheep number 237.” its a kind of character study, and it hasn’t been getting much attention so go check it out if you’d like! 
> 
> i love you guys, thank you for taking the time to read this and comment. it means so much to me, i love the small little community we have going on for this fic :)


	9. steve is banned from cursing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late night birthday celebrations, basically. 
> 
> super short chapter for today again, sorry. please read the endnotes

12:31 AM

**Steve:** Where the hell is everyone right now? Bruce just finished the cake 

**Peter:** oh my god steve just said hell 

**Natasha:** someone call 911

**Tony:** The world is ending 

**Steve:** I hate you all so much. 

**Tony:** But anyway, I’m buying booze 

**Tony:** Sorry, Bucky, you’re getting the shitty cheap wine

**Bucky:** You are a billionaire

**Tony:** I am not wasting money for this terrible cause

**Bucky:** It’s my birthday??

**Peter:** i am still buying presents with clint and sam :( 

**Sam:** Let the record show that I didn’t willingly come along 

**Bucky:** Aw, that’s alright, you don’t have to get me anything :) 

**Steve:** He just texted me privately and said “Make sure they get me gifts I fucking deserve this, I have been through so much trauma”

**Clint:** uhhh duly noted 

**Bucky:** Steve why do you do this to me

**Steve:** I love you so much but your crimes deserved to be exposed

**Peter:** steve is literally turning into a meme

**Stephen:** I was sent to get custom balloons. What the hell does that mean 

**Clint:** go slap bucky’s face and “congrats on not dying” on a balloon and ur all set 

**Bucky:** lmao I wish I was dead 

**Tony:** We should all go to therapy

**Sam:** Why have therapy when you have Bruce’s cooking am I right 

**Bruce:** I am not sure if I am comfortable with you depending on my cooking for your mental well being. 

**Sam:** Well fuck you too

**Peter** sent a message to “ **everyone but bucky** ”

**Peter:** omg what did everyone get him i am so lost

**Steve:** I’m giving him my dog tags and his from the war strung together on the same bracelet, to remind him that I’m with him til the end of the line and forever. 

**Natasha:** damn now i feel embarrassed to say that i got him a pack of hair ties 

**Sam:** I got him a Falcon plushie, he’s going to kill me

**Tony:** Really? I just got him some plums 

**Clint:** honestly he might appreciate that more than u think 

**Steve:** I’m also thinking that I might propose to him tomorrow morning

**Natasha:** ok now i feel REALLY embarrassed 

**Natasha:** i’m gonna go buy a gun brb

**Stephen:** Where??

**Natasha:** it’s america, u can find a gun literally anywhere 

**Scott:** Oh my god Steve you’re really gonna propose?? Oh my god oh my god

**Peter:** scott needs to chill

**Sam:** I can see you crying at your phone, Peter

**Steve:** Yes, I’ve had this ring for a while, ever since I found him after the ice, in fact

**Steve:** Now seemed like a pretty good time to put it to use 

**Tony:** I’m happy for you, even though Bucky’s a little bitch 

**Peter:** i can’t believe y’all are gonna b HUSBANDS,,, the power 

**Steve:** If he says yes of course 

**Natasha:** are u kidding me he is totally whipped for you. ofc he’s gonna say yes 

**Peter:** steve and bucky are the reason i believe in love

**Bruce:** I am also very happy for you, Steve. You guys deserve it :) 

**Bruce** sent a message to “ **the avengers hell yeah** ”

**Bruce:** The cake is ready. 

**Sam:** OH MY GOD I AM COMING OH MY GOD

**Bruce:** SINGLE FILE LINE PLEASE 

**Bucky:** This is a complete disaster 

**Peter:** happy birthday bucky!! we love u! 

**Bucky:** Ugh 

**Bucky:** I love you too 

8:23 AM 

**Bucky:** FUCKER BEAT ME TO IT 

**Steve:** YOU CAN’T WIN WITH ME, I’LL ALWAYS BE FASTER THAN YOU 

**Bucky:** I love my fiancé <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it’s been so long since i’ve updated, i haven’t forgotten abt this story and i won’t drop it. 
> 
> but my mental health has taken a toll lately, so if you are still reading this fic and possibly awaiting updates (if u are, tysm oh my god) then i am sorry about that. 
> 
> it’s been a combination of my own personal issues and also what is happening in america as of late. i live in the U.S., and it’s truly a shitstorm here. i’m not going to explain what is happening with george floyd’s murder and the protests and police brutality, because i’d be surprised if you didn’t know about it already. 
> 
> i beg of you, though, PLEASE help out black people. please sign petitions. please donate if you can. please share what is going on. BLACK LIVES MATTER. they always have, and they always will, even if a large group of people in this country don’t know this. black. lives. matter. here is a big carrd with info on where to donate, sign, etc. please take a look at   
> it. 
> 
> https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#
> 
> and lastly, happy pride month. i love you all. when celebrating, please remember that the lgbt+ community owes it all to the black trans lesbians that started stonewall. the world is falling apart right now, but we can get through this. 
> 
> on a lighter note, i rewatched promare last week and i’ve been in promare hell ever since. if y’all have seen promare, would you be interested in a galolio fic? 
> 
> if you have read this far, thank you so so much. i love you all, truly.


	10. update?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an update, pls read!

hey everyone! i’ll probably take this chapter down soon. i just wanted to let it be known that i am aware i haven’t updated this in like half a year! i’m not going to be officially dropping this fic at all. i still adore the mcu to death and i still like this fic a lot and want to keep telling the stories i had planned. 

however i’m just super hyperfixated on a lot of other fandoms rn and everytime i come back to this fic i just come up with nothing. i cant write anything for these characters right now since i haven’t really actively been in the marvel fandom for so long. (of course i still love all the characters so, so, so dearly, i just want to remember how to write them so i can push out actual quality content). 

i also don’t have many ideas. if you have any, please please let me know! i’ll very willingly try to incorporate them and they’d help a lot. 

again, i’m not dropping this fic! i just wanted to come back and apologize for the radio silence. (though i have recently posted stuff for other fandoms on here!) i think once all the new marvel content is out — tfatws is COMING y’all i’m not ready — i’ll be able to hop back into this fic easily!

thank you so much if you’ve read all this way. i truly love you all and i love the small little community we’ve built here with my regular commenters and readers. we’re almost at 400 kudos + we reached 4k+ hits and that might not seem like much to more popular writers but to me it means everything.


End file.
